Just wanted to Thank everyone that takes their time to read my blog! I have people from so many countries now, not sure how you all find out about my blog, but it is Amazing to see! I hope you all continue to read and give me comments on it! Well appreciated! THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!!
I did this slideshow when I was practicing for a little project for my late grandmother. It shows the amazing beauty of the four seasons here in the north of Sweden Where I live. All pictures are taken by me. Of course :)
This picture was taken in Vilhelmina a very very cold winterday in 2006. I was out walking with my mom and saw this amazing tree that was so heavily covered in snow. But Still managed to stay strong, high and beautiful. This inspired me to write about this.
There he stands, the dark gesture in a room full of fire. He undresses me with his black eyes and my naked body is now for everyone to see. I cannot hide from this monster, he will find me where ever I go and I cannot run cause he will always be faster. He has silenced me once and will over and over again bring out my tears and laugh at them. He slappes my inner strenght and tear me apart peice by peice. The dagger of power he carries repeatedly hits me and it goes deeper and deeper as my skin gets weaker and weaker. I lose myself and feel my hands lose their grip of the person I was. I become a gesture I have never seen, a gesture I never thought was able to be created. I go num and will never feel again, I will silence myself as I am frightened to speak.There is no truth in what is around me and I see the lies spread like an unstoppable virus. There is no cure to this, there is no turning back time. What is done is done. Evil is all around us and it has reached me, it has taken me hostage and it uses me to serve its purpose.
But in some strange way I am not afraid, He cannot break me, I might bend and I will bend alot. But when I do come back up, I will slap back with all my power and I will stand higher then ever. I will find a way to heal my wounds and even if my soul will forever be a ghost It will not have been for nothing. My hands will be stronger then ever and I will never lose my grip again. I will never again fall for the lies of the devil! And no matter how low I have been bent I am still born a mountain birch and no storm or avalanche can break those.
This picture was taken in Prague when I was there on a trip with my mom for new years. Those little rocks was ALL over the city, must have taken an eternity to put them all there!
Beneath me I see myself, wrapped around my shoelaces, stepped on, crossed and dirty.. I keep my head high and do not have the strenght to look down to see the trash that is laying there. I do not want to see it getting stomped on anymore so I look up and ignore it. But what happens when my shoelace unwrappes its grip and I slip on it? Will I fall face down in the dirt or will I stumble and catch my balance or will I just break it off? The stains are spreading up my legs as I walk and I feel an unpleasant feeling of something crawling up. Do I shake it off, scream for help or just leave it? I try to shake it off but it wont let go, I scream for help but no one hears me, so I just leave it. As I feel it crawling up I know more are coming to follow. There is no turning back as you once let them crawl. I feel my mind going crazy thinking about them and I try to find ways to get them gone! But my decision is made and there is no turning back, the page is turned and no one hears me anyway. I shout but all I hear is the echo of my own helplessness. So here I stand, alone in the dirt, walked over, walked passed, ignored and crossed. I get the trademark of the shoes as I lay under them. Will it go away as the foot leaves the ground I wonder. But no, I will get stuck under there and over and over again pushed down in the dirt. I need to unwrap, get away, find another shoe that ties me hard so I wont end up in the dirt. Is there such a shoe or will they just use me until I break and then throw me away? I walk the earth until I break, until the dirt has left no more room for stains, I am covered in the filth of my own footsteps. I start screaming inside as my voice is cracked. I cannot be heard, I cannot be seen. My heart stops and no longer can I feel anything, I turn cold and pale and I dissappear into the nothing I never was. I walk into the arms of Hades, hoping someone will find me and maybe fight the battles to save me. I leave Dirty, stepped on, broken, unheard and unseen. I leave ignored, humiliated and cold and my head is no longer held high. I now crawl in the dirt of the Gehenna I am in and only cause I didnt change my shoes..
Sometimes It is hard to know if we try to protect ourselves from letting people in or letting ourselvs out
This picture was taken on Chrismas eve last year in Borås, for some reason I like barbwires and the in their harshness looks so beautiful!
This one speaks to me in a very different way.
Under the fragile glass of our body lays the soul full of secrets. Our heart hurts when the soul cannot take anymore. It aches and sometimes it even Breaks! Just like any other defense we start to protect ourself from this horrible feeling and put up this fence of insecurity and distrust. Who can we trust enough to dare to get your heart broken or your soul to cry? Will the heart ever heal and will the tears of the soul ever dry if it has once been there?
The shadows of previous experiences lays heavy around us and it feeds on our pain and tears.
In time the shadow might ease up a little as the pain settles down and we might dare to open our fences a little, a glimpse of hope in trust rises. We might find that one person that will light up the shadows and break the fence. Dissapointment and anger turns into hope in good and we are ready to be vaunerable.
But Sometimes the pain and distrust is too big and the shadows has turned into and impenetrable shell and our fence turnes into a iron wall. We will never let someone in or let ourselves out, our heart is crushed into a million butterflies in a room of mirrors. The only soul you will ever touch is the one others let you see, the ones that not yet have that fence, the ones that not yet is covered by shadows.
Took this picture in Borås, it is my neice it is climbing on, I didnt dare to touch it but she as 3 years old had NO problem..
It is not always easy to dare to be different, to take that step and stand out from the crowd. It is so much easier to just blend in and be as everyone else. To go downstream instead of upstream. It takes courage to go against the stream and to stand up for Your believes and thoughts when others do not agree. It is hard to believe in yourself enough to know that you are your own person and you are important and need respect. You do not need others approval to be the person you are!!. You have a right to feel the way you feel and people can disagree but they should still respect your opinion. Be yourself and you have nothing to lose! Dare to take that step and stand up and show that you are here and you are not just another shadow in a crowd of people who tries to be like everyone else.
Do not hide behind the wings of safety but stand up and shout I am here! Do not follow the fish dowstream but turn around and swim against it. Undress the beauty within and set it free. show the colors of your soul and let it shine bright. Breath in the air of knowledge and let the wind Spread it through the skies. Set your footsprints down hard so that they never can fade. Let the echo of your voice rumble through the world and never get bound by the trees. Harsh words will hit you like rocks and eyes will burn your skin. So harden your skin and toughen up cause your path is can be a true obsticle course.